Bar Mitzvah

When preparing for a boy's Bar Mitzvah, it's advisable to start planning approximately a year in advance. This allows ample time to address various aspects such as tutoring, acquiring tefillin, planning the ceremony, and organizing the kiddush.

It's beneficial to have a comprehensive manual or guidebook available that can answer most of the questions parents may have during the preparation process.

Birur Yahadus

Now is a good time to do a  birur yehadus.

If you realize that the kids are not jewish, the suggestion is to make a meeting and discuss the possibility of giur k’halocho, that would be the ONLY way for you to officiate the bar/ bas mitzvah..

Do not be apologetic or bashful, be kind and understanding, and soft spoken, yet shtoltz/ firm in who you are and who and what you represent.

Ceremony

As people are coming in, greet them and put on tefillin with them, its best to do it before and not push it off because you will probably get busy.

By this occasion try to include as much of the family as possible by giving them different kibudim

Have everyone thats getting a kibud  put on a talis before the ceremony starts.

List of steps by the bm

• Rabbi’s intro. 

And Explain what's going to happen by the ceremony.

• Bar Mitzvah boy leads the congregation in a short prayer service.

If during the week, he could put on tefillin then say the bracha out loud, say shema, have everyone repeat after him so they get to say it, 

• Bar Mitzvah boy’s Aliya to the Torah, candy throw, and singing of siman tov.

Question if could sing before kaddish, some dance around the bimah 

• Family and Friend participation blessings and prayers.

• Bar Mitzvah boy’s speech, incorporating lessons from his Torah readings and Mitzvah Project.

Some like to do a candle lighting ceremony then 

• Family sponsors lunch in honor of the occasion.

• While they are eating u could say your speech, some have the same generic speech for every BM, People  get up and say l'chaim the the boy

Torah trainer (trop)

https://www.chabad.org/library/howto/trainer_cdo/aid/1771208/jewish/Learn-to-Read-Torah-and-Haftarah-With-Trop-Audio.htm#0=32494&1=1351&2=32818&3=32883&4=v162

For Sefardi Trop 

https://bar-mitzva.com/ 

Speeches 

On chabad.org has speeches adapted from Vedibarta Bam 

Curriculum 

• BAM (Ckids)

• Jewish Discovery Program (cteen)

• there are some guides on the file share

Gift ideas

Kiddush cup

Siddur

Chumash

Candle sticks

Jewish book

Havdalah set

Pushka

A web page idea

https://chabadmidsuffolkcom.clhosting.org/templates/articlecco_cdo/aid/2268475/jewish/Pre-Bar-Mitzvah-Form/lang/en